tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12746688198810709112024-03-14T08:45:52.136-07:00...and then came SamLorahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17797190695580766218noreply@blogger.comBlogger51125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1274668819881070911.post-29689084477576074742012-01-21T23:40:00.000-08:002012-01-21T23:43:26.064-08:00Mom, do you like Gumby?Me: I never really thought about it but yes, I suppose I do. <br /><br />Sam: Man, we have so much in common.Lorahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17797190695580766218noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1274668819881070911.post-35685734608961729742011-07-08T21:28:00.000-07:002011-07-08T21:33:00.900-07:00You're lucky I'm hereMe: Why is that?<br />Sam: Because I have super powers<br />Me: You're right, I am lucky.<br />Sam: I have to go get on the roof now, check the perminiter.<br />Me: uhhh, baby that's dangerous.<br />Sam: I have super powers, can't get hurt. It's a real thing.<br />Me: ummm, the...roof...has a hole in it.<br />Sam: I'll fix it.<br />Me (fuck) um, actually I hurt my foot really bad, can you fix it with your first aid kit? (he carries one at all times, not kidding)<br />Sam: (sigh) I guess, get that big thing over here.Lorahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17797190695580766218noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1274668819881070911.post-68869274251946320352011-01-01T22:05:00.001-08:002011-01-01T22:16:06.316-08:00I may have overreactedSchool is...Fantastic, amazing, a break, a breather, growth, learning, friends, laughter, change..good change.<br /><br />My son has changed so much, learned so much and become so confident since starting school. I fully FULLY believe this is mostly due to the Montessori method. It is too much to explain...and I don't care to..but basically Montessori focuses on being independent and nurturing a passion for learning, where as traditional schooling focuses on socialization. At Montessori the child chooses what they want to learn, they aren't held back if other students aren't ready, they each go at their own pace and can take whatever approach they feel inspired by to solve a problem. They don't have desks, or grades, or tests. They each learn a task until they master it, and the teacher decides when that is. It is very inspirational and perfect for my inquisitive and somewhat crazy son. Sam started on basic multiplication his week before Christmas. in kindergarten. Were the other kids? No, but Sam was ready..so they let him work on it. Amazing. I love this school so much I want to move into the basement and sustain myself on blocks and sink water.<br /><br /><br />Good to be back<br /><br />Looking forward to making you laugh<br /><br />God knows I need it.Lorahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17797190695580766218noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1274668819881070911.post-5795344321851720422010-09-06T22:40:00.000-07:002010-09-06T23:18:22.020-07:00HEART=BROKENIt's almost 1'oclock in the morning and I am packing your lunch for your first day of school. I am also sobbing like an idiot. Who cries when making Cinnamon apple slices? Your mom. Why am I making your lunch at 1 am, instead of being in bed and getting a full nights sleep like a normal person? I am your mom. And in 10 years, unless I have had some massive turn around, I am most likely still going to be making your lunches at 1 am. I have never been organized at doing anything. Which is why I think this is so hard for me.<br /><br />I am not prepared for this.<br /><br />You on the other hand, are.<br /><br />I did exactly what I set out to do. Raise an independent, intelligent, and caring young man, who was passionate about learning and the world around him.<br /><br />The only thing I forgot to do, was think about myself.<br /><br />For 5 and a half years, you have been my only job. Get up, feed you, cloth you, play with you, make sure you were safe. You have been my one and only focus since the moment you were born, if not before that. And tomorrow...you are going to start your journey without me. I know you are coming home at 3, and I realize you are still very young, but it's a beginning. I want to feel happy, and I want to be elated..but honestly, I just don't know what I'm going to do without you around.<br /><br />You are my little best friend. I don't understand parents who long for the days of school, when their children are gone and aren't around to interrupt their daily activities.<br /><br />You growing up, completely terrifies me. What am I to do now? I never realized how much of myself I sacrificed until tonight. I don't even know what I want anymore. I know I should be glad that I can go shopping without dragging you through the store having a hysterics fit over a ninja turtle, I know I should be happy that if I am exhausted, I can just take a nap without having to also convince you that you are tired and to lay down with me, I can take calls without you screaming in the background, I can have a drink without you drinking out of it and getting chunks of food in it, and I can go to the bathroom without you pounding on the door, but for some insane reason..I don't care about any of that. I am going to be lonely. It's going to be so quiet. I am crying again.<br /><br />I'm going from being with you all day everyday, to having you be gone for 8 hours, 5 days a week. Why does that sound like a prison sentence? Why can't I just be happy for you?<br />Thank god you are excited about school, otherwise..I'm guessing we'd be on our way to Canada tonight.<br /><br />I know you are going to an amazing school. (rockprairiemontessori.com) I know the teachers there are phenomenal. I've wanted you to go to that school, since I was pregnant with you. So why is it that all I am imagining is, you being scared and alone during lunch time with no friends? You've never eaten lunch without me to have a conversation with. Are you going to be scared? Are you going to feel rejected? What if you want to call me and no one let's you? Holy god I need to calm down.<br /><br />I think the worst part in all of this, is literally no one understands why I feel this way. "Lora, you'll love it" "Lora, this will be so good for him." Yeah, I get that. I also get that my one and only purpose for living is now going to be gone all day and I have no idea what the hell to do with myself.<br /><br />I'm just not ready. I'm not ready for you to be old enough to go to school. I'm not ready for you to need a lunch, or a backpack, or to have projects at school. Aren't you 2 years old? don't you need me to change your diaper? Don't you need me to sing you to sleep?<br /><br />I don't know how these years have gone so fast, but they were great years. I will never regret the career I gave up, or the money, or the time I spent sacrificing my sanity..because what I got in return was worth so much more. I can always go back and try my hand at those other things that people seem to hold so dear, but I can't go back and be there for you every second of your childhood. I am very glad I made the right decision. I never missed a laugh, or a word, or a tear or a step. I can honestly say I never missed one milestone. I did my job, and I did it well. And it is truly the thing I am most proud of.<br /><br />Well, I better get to bed so I don't sleep in and start you on a trend... I love you buglet Jones...I'm not sure how this transition is going to work out, or how much I will cry..I just hope the next 6 years are just as challenging and amazing at this last few.<br /><br /> Here is to our new adventure baby boy...<br /><br />Love Always,<br /><br />MomLorahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17797190695580766218noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1274668819881070911.post-58642741157779937172010-08-27T16:13:00.000-07:002010-08-27T16:16:22.133-07:00Mom, please try some brown sugarMe: Honey, I know what brown sugar tastes like.<br /><br />Sam: Please, you don't understand. It tastes better than anything.<br /><br />Me. Baby, I know..but sugar makes you fat.<br /><br />Sam. Mom, you're already fat. Just eat it.Lorahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17797190695580766218noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1274668819881070911.post-38727092924524345772010-08-20T08:08:00.000-07:002010-08-20T08:19:20.583-07:00No..no.no no no no no no no no<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgwyVC9HwvzoGYPPeRd-uwk17fNQuu4e3r4qVQQ-5gLYi9af5iHh7hoTd4i-jV0rZmz_LDx9iMUPspAw5OHtY_CzPlkuq6CB5fVA5u0uLO82ncEUCE6CdcNGVa_AHTHwQ4zk-Ak7SDrIFA/s1600/IMG00481-20100811-2205.jpg"><img style="TEXT-ALIGN: center; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 400px; DISPLAY: block; HEIGHT: 300px; CURSOR: hand" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5507511784001790946" border="0" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgwyVC9HwvzoGYPPeRd-uwk17fNQuu4e3r4qVQQ-5gLYi9af5iHh7hoTd4i-jV0rZmz_LDx9iMUPspAw5OHtY_CzPlkuq6CB5fVA5u0uLO82ncEUCE6CdcNGVa_AHTHwQ4zk-Ak7SDrIFA/s400/IMG00481-20100811-2205.jpg" /></a><br /><div>Sam: Mom! Come downstairs! I made myself beautiful!</div><br /><div></div><br /><div>Me: Okay baby, be down in a second. (pause) Wait, what did you use to make yourself beautiful?</div><br /><div></div><br /><div>Sam: Nail Polish</div><br /><div></div><br /><div>(.4 seconds later I am in the basement frantically looking for the damage)</div><br /><div></div><br /><div>Sam: Look mom, pretty!</div><br /><div></div><br /><div>(I see that he has taken the word "finger" literally, and painted his finger up to the first joint with bright pink nail polish.)</div><br /><div></div><br /><div>Me: That is very pretty honey, but very bad for you, and it makes a huge mess. Let's go get in the bathtub.</div><br /><div></div><br /><div>Sam: Is it bad for dogs and carpet too?</div><br /><div></div><br /><div>FUCK</div><br /><div></div><br /><div>(The dog is fine by the way. Carpet? Not so much.)</div><br /><div></div><br /><div></div>Lorahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17797190695580766218noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1274668819881070911.post-66798805793566207612010-08-20T08:06:00.001-07:002010-08-20T08:07:07.322-07:00"Dear God, please kill all the aliens in the world so I don't have to kill them to protect my mom"Lorahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17797190695580766218noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1274668819881070911.post-14601209375464462972010-08-04T22:41:00.000-07:002010-08-04T23:09:58.783-07:00By the way, your son's penis will blow up.So Sam and I spent the entire day in the pool yesterday. Lounging and drinking..twas a glorious time. Oh wait no, it was more like, him throwing shit at me and splashing my face until I swallowed enough water to be legally considered a manatee.<br /><br />When Sam got out of the pool, he kept saying his swim trunks were hurting his wiener. I figured it was the liner or something. For the next hour he kept whining and grabbing at it, so while in the car, I pulled over and let him go commando. When I got home I got a better look at it and saw that the tip was extremely swollen, it looked like a balloon to be exact.<br /><br />Now, Sam is "intact" which means I chose to not hack off his foreskin the day he was born. I'm not giving any crap to moms who chose to do it, the only reason I did was I was shown a video of a circumcision being done a week before my birth..needless to say, I chose not to do it.<br />Although I am glad I made this decision, there are still things I need to be careful about..like infections. I figured it was infected. I put some of my homeopathic antibacterial stuff on it, and kept checking every hour. It got worse.<br /><br />I would put a picture up but knowing my luck, this would probably become the #1 deformed penis child porn site on the web.<br /><br />He said it didn't hurt, he said it was fine but after another look, I saw my son's penis looked like a hot air balloon or a Jellyfish bloated on the beach..so we headed to the ER.<br /><br />"SEPARATION TRAUMA"<br /><br />Ever hear of this? Yeah, me neither. Apparently it's when intact boy's penises, start to separate from the foreskin. It causes "Ballooning"<br /><br />So...why the FUCK did no one ever tell me about this? Oh by the way your son's penis will blow up 8 times it's regular size, but don't sweat it..it's just trapped piss.<br />Awesome. Glad I was worried about my son's future sex life all day.<br /><br />2 things I learned that day.<br /><br />1. You cannot explain to a child why it's important to have a penis when you are older. It's very awkward, and they know that peeing is not the only reason.<br /><br />2. My son wants a tiny penis. When the nurse told him it just meant it was growing, he started sobbing hysterically. " I want my old wiener, I don't want a big gross penis, I love my penis how god made it." How do you convince a little person that it's good for his wiener to grow? Can't really be honest can I?<br /><br /><br />So, the main reason I'm posting this is for other mothers who have this happen. Don't freak out, it's just trapped piss.<br /><br />Holy shit I am tired.Lorahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17797190695580766218noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1274668819881070911.post-50752937527351353722010-07-20T10:33:00.000-07:002010-07-20T10:56:40.918-07:00Piss has made a comeback.I should have known this was coming. For a couple months now he has randomly pulled out some of his old tricks. Peeing in the bathtub, in the dog bowl, in his water bottle. I can't say that I blame him, If I had a hose that stuck out of my body, I'd probably see what creative ways I could come up with to empty my bladder as well. Unfortunately for me, his fun is my biohazard. The bad stuff started a week ago and so far there have been three major incidents.<br /><br />Incident 1. Incident 1 was more of a conversation, because I didn't see anything. This is how it went. <br /><br /> Sam: Are the dishes done? <br /><br />Me: Yes, why? <br /><br />Sam: Do they smell like pee?<br /><br />Me: Why would they smell like pee?<br /><br />Sam: Because I just wizzed in the dishwasher.<br /><br />Me: Before or after they were done?<br /><br />Sam: After. I wanted them to smell good! Like my weiner juice.<br /><br />(Check dishwasher, could see obvious signs of yellow liquid)<br /><br />This was followed by the following: Grumbling, A toy being put in the "gone for 6 months" bin, and the dishwasher being restarted with a crap ton of detergent.<br /><br /><br />Incident 2. I have cats and dogs, and I like my house to not smell like them. As cool as being the "lady who's house smells like cats" is, I'd rather not. So, once a week I make a homemade mixture of baking soda and essential oils and spread it over the carpet before I vaacum. So, about 3 days ago..I got out my huge bucket of the stuff and started shaking it around as usual. I noticed it was really clumped up this time, but I had added a lot of lemon oil so I figured that was the reason. WRONG. Immidiately after finishing the living room I hear Sam hysterically laughing. "Mom, you're putting my wizz all over everything" apparantly he thought it would be funny to take a leak into the bucket right before I spread it all over my entire house. FUCK<br /><br />Incident 3. This is my favorite. I was standing at the stove, making dinner when I felt something start dripping on my foot. I looked around at the cieling and the stove figuring it was something leaking. I saw a stream of yellow liquid hitting my foot at an angle...I followed it up and it was coming from my son's tiny weiner. My son had a look on his face like I've never seen, it was extremely confident, and very prideful. <br /><br />Me: Sam! What are you doing!?!?<br />Sam: I'm peeing on your foot<br />Me: Yeah, I can see that. That is disgusting Samuel, this has to stop. I know you think it's funny but it isin't This is seriousuly the most disgusting thing anyone has ever done to me.<br />(This is where I get worried that my son is posessed)<br />Sam: You mean so far.<br />Me: what? What does that mean?<br />Sam: It's the most disgusting thing anyone has done to you SO FAR.<br />I'm scared.<br /><br />He has also peed on the dog, peed into a bottle cap and let it overflow all over the livingroom and peed into an ice cube tray trying to make piss popcicles. But these three were the ones that made me the most insane. I really have no plan, I'm just venting. And if you are wondering why I haven't blogged in so long, it's because I'm trying to clean a 5 year olds body weight in piss off everything in my home.<br /><br />Whatever, it's better than poop right? RIGHT? Argh...Lorahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17797190695580766218noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1274668819881070911.post-57881573548768765462010-06-24T01:47:00.001-07:002010-06-24T01:49:51.551-07:00tweets? twats? I'm a sheep BahhhhhFor any of you who have had the pleasure of meeting/speaking with Sam, you know that pretty much an endless amount of comedic material rolls out of his mouth on any given day. I've decided to create a twitter account, so while I'm at the store, or putting him to bed I can just tweet it, and not forget about them like I am doing now.<br /><br />Follow me, weeeee!<br /><br />http://twitter.com/andthencamesamLorahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17797190695580766218noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1274668819881070911.post-32803059668342233732010-06-14T19:29:00.000-07:002010-06-14T19:33:23.423-07:00Hang on Bug, I have to go to the bathroom...Sam: Are you going turd or squirt?<br /><br />Me: Squirt<br /><br />Sam: Fine, but make sure you flush the toilet so it doesn't wreak like wizz in here.Lorahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17797190695580766218noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1274668819881070911.post-60742204018269348192010-06-14T19:27:00.000-07:002010-06-14T19:29:31.487-07:00"You're armpits smell like old Gatorade"-SamLorahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17797190695580766218noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1274668819881070911.post-29726865248957765022010-05-26T19:37:00.000-07:002010-05-26T19:40:45.060-07:00I've been making decisionsMe: Oh yeah, what kind?<br /><br />Sam: Big ones<br /><br />Me: Like what?<br /><br />Sam: No more Parmesan cheese, Parmesan cheese hurts my feelings. Also, I'm pretty sure I'm going to start picking my nose again.<br /><br />Me: Why does it hurt your feelings?<br /><br />Sam: It's too salty, it dries my heart out.<br /><br />Me: Okay, why do you want to pick your nose again? <br /><br />Sam: Because you do.<br /><br />Me: Good pointLorahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17797190695580766218noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1274668819881070911.post-78583475515816991152010-05-26T19:36:00.001-07:002010-05-26T19:37:20.447-07:00"I want to rip a big fart that is so big it puts a crack in the world" -SamLorahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17797190695580766218noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1274668819881070911.post-43956436302924820652010-05-26T19:32:00.000-07:002010-05-26T19:35:53.152-07:00Holy motherhood batmanI've been away...well not really. I've been right here, I have chunks of dog hair on the floor because my germanlabradorhusky completely rids himself of hair twice a year. It's gross. I digress...it's been a fun filled few weeks. Lots of messes, lots of grilling out and of course..Samisms. I have a few good ones I'm about to post now and maybe if I can figure it out, a video! I am advancing!Lorahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17797190695580766218noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1274668819881070911.post-7122342108315912972010-05-09T11:29:00.000-07:002010-05-09T11:33:45.045-07:00Mothers DaySam: Happy Mudders Day Mommy<br /><br />Me: Thanks baby<br /><br />Sam: Daddy told me to say that<br /><br />Me: That's okay, I know you mean it.<br /><br />Sam: What does it mean?<br /><br />Me: Today is a day that you show your mom how much you love her. It's called Mothers Day.<br /><br />Sam: Do I have to come out of your rib cage again?<br /><br />Me: You came out of my tummy, and no...you do not have to be born again.<br /><br />Sam: I have to poop<br /><br />Me: Okay<br /><br />Sam: I need you to wipe my butt<br /><br />Me: Okay<br /><br />Sam: Can you wipe my butt on Mudders day?<br /><br />Me: Especially on Mudders dayLorahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17797190695580766218noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1274668819881070911.post-8107919201993835702010-05-09T09:12:00.000-07:002010-05-09T09:21:17.657-07:00Why is there so much cars?Me: Because there is a rummage sale next door<br /><br />Sam: Well they need to get out of our way.<br /><br />Me: I know, but there is nothing we can do.<br /><br />Sam: I know what we can do<br /><br />Me: What is that<br /><br />Sam: We can murder everyone there, then burn the rummage sale down, and then drive through it and laugh.<br /><br />Me: (I honestly paused for a full minute with my mouth open) Baby, I don't like when you say stuff like that, we should never hurt anyone to get what we want.<br /><br />Sam: I know, I have mental problems.<br /><br /><br /><br />Am I doing something wrong? Is this normal?<br /><br /> Yesterday he whipped a quarter across the living room, leaned back into his recliner with his arms folded with a smirk on his face and said "Let's watch that old gravity work" It's like my son is possessed with an 80 year old sociopath.<br /><br /> He never does anything hurtful or violent, but he says pretty crazy things for a 5 year old. I know one thing for sure, he is either going to grow up to be wildly creative and invent the first candy rollercoaster or eventually mass murder a village.Lorahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17797190695580766218noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1274668819881070911.post-73652150833738130872010-04-29T15:32:00.000-07:002010-04-29T15:38:54.912-07:00I have videosSometimes I read my blog, and sometimes I look at the things I write and think "My life is insane" and I think that to some people, the things he does or says must seem impossible. I assure you that they are in fact 100% truthful. If they weren't, I would be outside skipping rocks and planting tulips instead of feverishly trying to blog about my urine and mud fueled angst. Ask anyone who has ever met him, Sam is a different breed. He is fantastic, a true ham...and my best friend. But that kid is giving my sanity a run for it's money.<br />I digress....I have started taping the things Sam' does on my phone, if I can catch him in the moment. I have about 3 now, and once I figure out how the hell to edit them they will be posted. I am excited, I am excited for you to have even more reasons to laugh at my expense. Until then..Sam has a hammer...Lorahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17797190695580766218noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1274668819881070911.post-49259558789681726562010-04-29T12:30:00.000-07:002010-04-29T12:40:15.520-07:00One of the top 5 things you don't want to hear when pulling your squash out of the oven:"Hey, why did you cook that squash in my pee bowl?"Lorahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17797190695580766218noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1274668819881070911.post-50987372925998106372010-04-29T12:27:00.000-07:002010-04-29T12:28:07.975-07:00"You know what I like about robots? They don't even have nuts but they can still beat up robbers." -SamLorahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17797190695580766218noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1274668819881070911.post-34627804893693977552010-04-02T12:45:00.000-07:002010-04-02T13:52:39.414-07:00Sam, what are you doing with the saran wrap?<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhbMPy8095xpzxOtMMsMBm3YxXj65gSyKgHFE3Wmfj_b9CSOfxdIDatqtEerIAqy18XzqhcW1htLNGzSbiicI_fonozcaqGEbCGFpTOLUtj_6LaFx_GjuihNb-mNEbZlcZMB31N3u91tD0/s1600/Noodle+Hider+copy.jpg"><img style="display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 247px; height: 400px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhbMPy8095xpzxOtMMsMBm3YxXj65gSyKgHFE3Wmfj_b9CSOfxdIDatqtEerIAqy18XzqhcW1htLNGzSbiicI_fonozcaqGEbCGFpTOLUtj_6LaFx_GjuihNb-mNEbZlcZMB31N3u91tD0/s400/Noodle+Hider+copy.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5455645743387607874" border="0" /></a><br />Sam: Making a machine<br /><br />Me: What does it do?<br /><br />Sam: It's a surprise, I'll be out in a minute.<br /><br />(5 minutes go by where I can hear my entire roll of Saran Wrap getting ripped out)<br /><br />Sam: Okay I'm ready!<br /><br />(he comes out naked, covered in Saran Wrap)<br /><br />Sam: I'd like to introduce you to the Noodle Hider 3000, for just 40 dollars you can buy it and hide your noodle when people come over and you are naked.Lorahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17797190695580766218noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1274668819881070911.post-77181354180985427202010-04-02T10:34:00.000-07:002010-04-02T10:58:51.547-07:00Where you going?I just have to run to the Tyme machine, I'll be back in a minute...play with Uncle Jordan.<br /><br />Can I come with you? It's very important.<br /><br />Why?<br /><br />Because I need to go back in time and see myself as a baby.Lorahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17797190695580766218noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1274668819881070911.post-53589810633414822312010-03-27T15:41:00.001-07:002010-03-27T15:48:51.589-07:00Wrap with a side of disgustingI've recently started letting Sam make his own food decisions, and then (depending on the difficulty) letting him prepare it himself. I don't keep unhealthy foods in the house, and he doesn't really know of their existence so this is a safe procedure. Today he wanted to make his own sandwich, and this is what he put on it.<br /><br />Veggie Wrap<br />Pine nut hummus<br />Vegan Cheese<br />Raspberries<br />Peanut butter<br /><br /><br />Now I am all for combinations, but this looked disgusting..and he ate the entire thing.<br />Yesterday he dipped an entire container of strawberries in hummus and ate it for breakfast. Some of the things he eats are so gross I can't even watch. I suppose I can't judge, my favorite thing to eat when I was little was cold chicken dipped in Jif peanut butter. Jif, you know it right? It's the best peanut butter ever. I don't eat it anymore what with it being the equivalent of mowing down 120 Twinkies, but damn...I miss me some Jif.Lorahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17797190695580766218noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1274668819881070911.post-12111638249288755762010-03-26T17:13:00.000-07:002010-03-26T17:24:06.637-07:00Guess what the one on the left is?<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgtk9Kfn7RwmUJStdbRVc4Sox-C0DTRSL6jY3s5lCK02eI6HocclYnYquXksHnoflCOQwvf1y9oRtDkE1MrfBAJJUluJfxZAUBO7IuF9pk83Eq0CYf1_ygUpQsHFuo-WVZCRqK8k4b9xz4/s1600/boobs.jpg"><img style="display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgtk9Kfn7RwmUJStdbRVc4Sox-C0DTRSL6jY3s5lCK02eI6HocclYnYquXksHnoflCOQwvf1y9oRtDkE1MrfBAJJUluJfxZAUBO7IuF9pk83Eq0CYf1_ygUpQsHFuo-WVZCRqK8k4b9xz4/s400/boobs.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5453102435369772610" border="0" /></a><br />Boobs.<br /><br />My son just drew boobs. How am I sure? He told me...quite specifically that they were.<br /><br />Sam: (making googly noises at his magnadoodle.)<br /><br />Me: What are you doing honey?<br /><br />Sam: Loving what I just drew.<br /><br />Me: What did you draw honey<br /><br />Sam: A girl with her boobs and nipples<br /><br />Me: Let me see that...umm, why did you draw this honey?<br /><br />Sam: because I love boobs.<br /><br />Me: Fair enough, but don't draw this for anyone but me and daddy okay, because it's kind of inappropriate.<br /><br />Sam: I love boobs.<br /><br />Me: Time to build that shed out back.<br /><br /><br />I love how this woman is mainly just boob. She has the makings of legs, a maybe a head but mostly she is just boob and nipple. This also happened on the day that he first wrote Mommy perfectly on the same magnadoodle. I'm not sure which one his dad is more proud of.Lorahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17797190695580766218noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1274668819881070911.post-49750782886238341752010-03-20T15:01:00.001-07:002010-03-20T15:04:27.504-07:00"Hey Honey bun, where did you put my hammer?"Me: ahahahhaha Why did you call me Honey Bun?<br /><br />Sam: Because that is how men talk to ladies<br /><br />Me: Of course it is, how silly of me.Lorahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17797190695580766218noreply@blogger.com0