5 and a half years ago, my life consisted of sleeping,burritos and dropping entire paychecks on the Victoria's Secret semi annual sale. I was pretty sure I knew what motherhood would be like. I was wrong. I had visions of sanity,a clean home, and cats that weren't locked in the closet after being soaked with a 4 year old boys urine. Yes, I thought motherhood was one beautiful lucid moment to the next

...and then came Sam.

Tuesday, February 9, 2010

Look what I found...

Sam: Awww mommy, I didn't know you used to work here. Oh the memories, the great memories you have here.

Me: (obviously laughing) how do you know what that is?

Sam: it's a name tag from a store.

Me: Yes, it is. Do know what it says?

Sam: No

Me: Good.

Sam: did you work there when you were a baby?

Me: Not exactly, but I was a lot younger. A LOT YOUNGER.

Sam: If I work there, can my name tag say turd Sam?

Me: Sure

Sam: Does your heart hurt because you can't work there?

Me: Ahhhhh no, now let's put that back in Mommy's shame bin.

The bridge to nowhere

2 months. For 2 months Sam has been doing this. When he goes #2, he wipes his butt with one end, then rolls he toilet paper out across the bathroom into the bathtub. He told me it was so his turds could escape. I'm not buying it..