5 and a half years ago, my life consisted of sleeping,burritos and dropping entire paychecks on the Victoria's Secret semi annual sale. I was pretty sure I knew what motherhood would be like. I was wrong. I had visions of sanity,a clean home, and cats that weren't locked in the closet after being soaked with a 4 year old boys urine. Yes, I thought motherhood was one beautiful lucid moment to the next

...and then came Sam.

Thursday, February 11, 2010

Where the F!@# is my hair tie!?

In motherhood I have found that it is truly the little things. Not that make you happy, but that keep you from completely having a nervous breakdown. One of these things is a hair tie.
For some reason, all of my horrible moments in motherhood always feature me, sweating with my hair falling and sticking to my face because I cannot find a hair tie. Shitty things always piggy back on top of each other to make an annoying moment 100 times worse than it has to be. For example, here is the list of things that separately are not that bad, but when they all occurred at the same time one hot day in July at a gas station..became one of the worst days of my life.

1. 95 Degrees with 120 thousand percent humidity
2. Very cranky baby in baby carrier than he outgrew 50 pounds ago
3. sticky lip gloss
5. Pants that are too loose and constantly falling down
6. Random intense back pain (probably from carrying ridiculously heavy car seat)
7. Broken air conditioner
8. Tons of people
9. Really windy


All of that put together with a hair tie would have maybe been do-able. But I was SANS HAIR TIE and it was horrific. I called my sister hysterically crying like I had just survived some sort of vicious attack. Robbers? No, no my lip gloss kept sticking to my face..it was horrible...

Changing a diaper, doing the dishes, bringing in groceries, vacuuming, putting wet laundry in the dryer...all of these things are plain ordinary occurrences in the home, but can absolutely ruin your day when done without a hair tie...any hair tie.

On a side note, is it just me or does every girl keep one really ugly, stretched out hair tie that is reminiscent of something you would wear to a roller rink in 4th grade as a back up? I always want to throw this giant red fringy thing in my bathroom away, but it never fails, once a year I'm having a hot face attack with no hair ties around and that ugly ass thing saves me.

So, take my advice and every time you are at Target, by that huge long sleeve thing of hair ties. Because I'd rather be swimming in hair ties, then be "Captain hair stuck to face" at a Chuck E. Cheese birthday party.