5 and a half years ago, my life consisted of sleeping,burritos and dropping entire paychecks on the Victoria's Secret semi annual sale. I was pretty sure I knew what motherhood would be like. I was wrong. I had visions of sanity,a clean home, and cats that weren't locked in the closet after being soaked with a 4 year old boys urine. Yes, I thought motherhood was one beautiful lucid moment to the next

...and then came Sam.

Tuesday, March 2, 2010

Want to talk to the garbage?

Me: Sure, what does it want to talk about.

Sam: Never mind, it doesn't want to talk to you.

Me: You are a silly goosen foosen.

Sam: That made my wiener tickle.

Me: What did?

Sam. You saying that.

Me: why would it make your wiener tickle?

Sam: Because I put the walkie talkie on my wiener when you said it.

Me: Ummm, okay. I'm sorry?

Sam: I forgive you.

Secret Agent Sam

Sam got Walkie Talkies for his birthday from my Mom and Dad. Within 10 minutes of opening them I was in the back of his closet, "wounded" trying to hide from rogue agents out to kill me. We played this for about an hour, and then when I started making lunch, Sam started telling me everything he was doing into his walkie talkie. This is how it went:

Sam. Mommy, are you still there? Over.

Me: Honey, I told you I'm making lunch, I can't talk on it right now, but keep telling me what you are doing, it's very important, over

Sam. Okay, over

Beeep: I am in the bathroom, I just kicked the cat and he ran away, over.

Beeep: Okay Mom, I'm going upstairs, it's really dirty, you should clean it here it's gross. Over.

Beep: Where is my optimus prime mom, over.

Beep: It's on my dresser, over.

beep: Okay, found it, over.

5 minutes later....

Beep: Okay, going through your box of jewelry that you told me not to, over.

beep: Sam, get out of there.

beep: Sorry, official spy business. Please don't come in your room, over.

beep. Get out now.

beep: ummmm, I think I broke your lamp, please don't be mad, over.

Beep: Get down here and eat your lunch please.

beep: you forgot to say over. I love you, over.

Beep: over

Sam: I'm standing next to you, you don't have to say that.