5 and a half years ago, my life consisted of sleeping,burritos and dropping entire paychecks on the Victoria's Secret semi annual sale. I was pretty sure I knew what motherhood would be like. I was wrong. I had visions of sanity,a clean home, and cats that weren't locked in the closet after being soaked with a 4 year old boys urine. Yes, I thought motherhood was one beautiful lucid moment to the next

...and then came Sam.




Friday, April 2, 2010

Sam, what are you doing with the saran wrap?


Sam: Making a machine

Me: What does it do?

Sam: It's a surprise, I'll be out in a minute.

(5 minutes go by where I can hear my entire roll of Saran Wrap getting ripped out)

Sam: Okay I'm ready!

(he comes out naked, covered in Saran Wrap)

Sam: I'd like to introduce you to the Noodle Hider 3000, for just 40 dollars you can buy it and hide your noodle when people come over and you are naked.
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Where you going?

I just have to run to the Tyme machine, I'll be back in a minute...play with Uncle Jordan.

Can I come with you? It's very important.

Why?

Because I need to go back in time and see myself as a baby.
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