5 and a half years ago, my life consisted of sleeping,burritos and dropping entire paychecks on the Victoria's Secret semi annual sale. I was pretty sure I knew what motherhood would be like. I was wrong. I had visions of sanity,a clean home, and cats that weren't locked in the closet after being soaked with a 4 year old boys urine. Yes, I thought motherhood was one beautiful lucid moment to the next

...and then came Sam.

Friday, April 2, 2010

Sam, what are you doing with the saran wrap?

Sam: Making a machine

Me: What does it do?

Sam: It's a surprise, I'll be out in a minute.

(5 minutes go by where I can hear my entire roll of Saran Wrap getting ripped out)

Sam: Okay I'm ready!

(he comes out naked, covered in Saran Wrap)

Sam: I'd like to introduce you to the Noodle Hider 3000, for just 40 dollars you can buy it and hide your noodle when people come over and you are naked.

Where you going?

I just have to run to the Tyme machine, I'll be back in a minute...play with Uncle Jordan.

Can I come with you? It's very important.


Because I need to go back in time and see myself as a baby.