5 and a half years ago, my life consisted of sleeping,burritos and dropping entire paychecks on the Victoria's Secret semi annual sale. I was pretty sure I knew what motherhood would be like. I was wrong. I had visions of sanity,a clean home, and cats that weren't locked in the closet after being soaked with a 4 year old boys urine. Yes, I thought motherhood was one beautiful lucid moment to the next

...and then came Sam.

Saturday, February 20, 2010

"Mom, Can I step on this cat toy?"

Me: (not looking at cat toy, trying to pack the car) Sure

Sam: I like to step on this cat toy cause it's squishy.

Me: Squishy? What kind of cat toy is it? Why is it outside?

Sam: Why does this cat toy have sponges and blood on the inside of it.

Me:( Sam walks around the car, HOLDING a furry ball of guts) Because that's not a cat toy, it's a dead squirrel. Please put it down. ( I realize that I cannot convey the amount of hysterics that my voice was expressing at this moment, but try to imagine)

Sam. But I love to step on dead animals

Me: Honey, that is really disgusting. Why would you like to do that?

Sam. Because they sound fun when I squish them. I hate stepping on dead humans though, their blood is gross.

Me: (At a loss for words is a good way to express how I felt right about now)

okay that's nice honey..let's go wash your hands...

1 comment:

  1. Miniature Dexter much? lol I laughed so hard at this someone 4 cubicles down leaned over to ask what it was making me crack up.