5 and a half years ago, my life consisted of sleeping,burritos and dropping entire paychecks on the Victoria's Secret semi annual sale. I was pretty sure I knew what motherhood would be like. I was wrong. I had visions of sanity,a clean home, and cats that weren't locked in the closet after being soaked with a 4 year old boys urine. Yes, I thought motherhood was one beautiful lucid moment to the next

...and then came Sam.

Sunday, May 9, 2010

Why is there so much cars?

Me: Because there is a rummage sale next door

Sam: Well they need to get out of our way.

Me: I know, but there is nothing we can do.

Sam: I know what we can do

Me: What is that

Sam: We can murder everyone there, then burn the rummage sale down, and then drive through it and laugh.

Me: (I honestly paused for a full minute with my mouth open) Baby, I don't like when you say stuff like that, we should never hurt anyone to get what we want.

Sam: I know, I have mental problems.

Am I doing something wrong? Is this normal?

Yesterday he whipped a quarter across the living room, leaned back into his recliner with his arms folded with a smirk on his face and said "Let's watch that old gravity work" It's like my son is possessed with an 80 year old sociopath.

He never does anything hurtful or violent, but he says pretty crazy things for a 5 year old. I know one thing for sure, he is either going to grow up to be wildly creative and invent the first candy rollercoaster or eventually mass murder a village.

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